In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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