I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i dont even know how to be here
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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