Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
