so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
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when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
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I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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