After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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