I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
