I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
