I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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