Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
