I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
