I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
