I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize