i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just forgot I was standing up.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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