I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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