OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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