are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
