And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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