dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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