im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
