just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize