She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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