Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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