ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
