I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
