Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
