We're like a lot better than the average bears
Jerry, you need to find god
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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