I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
