we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
