She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize