Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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