One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
