yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I have demons in me.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
