I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Randomize
