He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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