Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
