there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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