This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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