he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
we're making bets on your personal life
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
