she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
