Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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