just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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