you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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