The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
