I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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