they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
