I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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