After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
