You're completely useless in the revolution.
I didn't shave. On purpose
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
