i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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