Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
