you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I believe in your delicious
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
