I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
