im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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