Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
