Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
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I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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