dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Less talking, more tequila
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
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