The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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