you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
The air taste purple.
Randomize
