Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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