Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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