I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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