Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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