Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
