Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
