Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Sext me about skeletons
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
