I wannas sexs uuuuu
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
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So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
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It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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