What a fucking waste of an outfit
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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