I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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